Wednesday, September 14, 2011

दौड़

जो ना मिला जीवन में,
पीछे उसके दौड़ते दौड़ते
ज़िन्दगी निकल जाती है
अंत में बस मुठी भर राख रह जाती है ||

पा लेने को तो,
सारा जहाँ है, 
पर अंत में सबके हिस्से 
बस छे ग़ज ज़मी ही आती है||

बैंक- बैलेंस, गाड़ी, बंगला, नौकर- चाकर...
चाह का अंत है नहीं कहीं |
पाने को ख़ुशी जीवन में
दो पल सुकून के ही काफी हैं ||






Saturday, September 3, 2011

My love

That smile,

which begins slowly at the corner of his lips,
unfolds petal by petal, like a blooming flower
erasing, as it travels, the worry laced wrinkles lining his forehead,
wiping off the scowl from his face and the piles of concerns from his mind,

That smile,

which travels from his lips,
lights up his heart , shines from within his eyes
and gazes at me from within his distant voice,
however long it lasts,

That smile,
is my love,
my life's joy,
my soul's wish within my every prayer.
His smile.

Friday, September 2, 2011

The story of an Unending Love Affair

This is how it all started,


When a series of unconnected happy and unhappy incidents and memories after travelling through a soul, sprung from within it, tiny brooks of emotions, which within the con-volutes of a mind, finally knotted together in a string of words......and when the desire of those words wanting to make themselves heard, finally led someone to hold in their hand a pen and paper.....

That is how it started, the love affair between,  the ink and the paper, when they first met each other through the stroke of a writer's hand, and began weaving together the yarn of their love....

And that yarn just kept growing, turning sometimes, into a happy and at others a sad love story or a poem or  a song. Sometimes into a musing, sometimes into biography, sometimes into a partly written or hurriedly scribbled incomplete piece of writing.....

but always echoing from within it, the whispers of a soul.

Monday, August 15, 2011

15th August 2011

15th August 2011

64 years since the stroke of midnight, when India, the Nation and it's people achieved their Independence, after a long and hard fought struggle.

64 years since, the pioneers of freedom struggle, who with the belief in their hearts and minds, that, a free people, who have witnessed the tyranny of being enslaved, would understand the true meaning of Independence, and cherish that understanding and freedom of free decision making, to make choices that would help every person live their life self righteously, upholding their beliefs and ethos and, thus, creating, A society and ultimately A nation, where they can do so freely without being forced to compromise their integrity and choices by the whims of a choicest few, gave to the people of India the gift of Independence.

64 years since, An entire nation and a society has collectively watched that dream fade away into the muck of  individual and progressing Corruption, which has swept far and wide through every aspect, be it bureaucratic, politics, economic, infrastructural, judicial, of the largest democracy in the world.

64 years to this day, where situation has come to a pass, that this entire nation is ravaged into a serious debate on how to bring accountability in this 'Democracy' of the people, by the people and for the people, by creating an Institution called as The Lokpal Bill, to bring about corrective measure.

The Lokpal Bill, is basically a proposition to create an independent body called,  The Lokayukt, that would be empowered to speedily investigate, any matters of irregularities brought to it's notice, without the need of prior government permission and thereafter submitting a report for action. 

The Debate that is going on is because : 

1) Of the lack of consensus on some proposals in the drafts of the aforesaid bill, as proposed by the Govt. Of India and that proposed, by a group of activists working for the cause, spear headed by a Gandhian, Anna Hazare. for example - whether to bring The higher judiciary & The prime minister within the preview of the bill?
                                 - the kind of punishment that should be decided once a person is found guilty, 
                                  - the kind of powers and autonomy that the lokayukt would have, 
                                  -how the lukayukt/lokayukt committee would be elected And 
                                  -how will the Lolayukt execute their proposed powers.

2) Because their is a doubt in the people, As to how can a Lokayukt maintain integrity in a rotten system, which in the first place led to the need of a Lokayakut. A fear in the minds, that Lukayakut might just end up joining the ever enlarging list of failed/corrupt institutions and because of the inherent structure of the bill, even an Independent and unchecked body of corruption.

The purpose of this post is neither to debate the Lokpal Bill, it's worth, or which group of thought is right or wrong, nor to go into the depth of issues concerned with it, rather it is to highlight a more important and alarming fact, which has been lost in all this ruckus..

                 That yes, there is no denying that 'Fighting corruption', is probably the biggest and most important problem that lies before our Nation today to continue it's functioning, but what is more important is, is addressing the root cause from where this monstrous growth is arising, and that is   :

" An overall degradation in the ethical and moral structure of the very people which constitute this Nation.  It is the time when we as individuals need to turn within ourselves for a major introspection. An introspection, of our ever enlarging egos, for our growing lack of respect for value of hard work, of our unchecked wants beyond our earned means, because we live in a nation which is suffering, in every aspect, with the problem of too few resources for too many people creating a wide divide of those who have a lot and those who have meager none."

And Unless this happens, bring as we many as we might laws, institutions, the monster of corruption shall fail to be defeated. And even as I write, I fully understand how naive and theoretical this suggestion sounds, I would still suggest, look into the individual that lives within,  remember that Individuals and societies coexists in a balance that forms a nation. That a nation moves on the wheels of it's individuals and not vice-versa. We can continue to lie to ourselves, continue justifying our wrongs in the names of need for survival in a worthless system, but the truth is, that We ourselves are responsible for the worthlessness of that System.

                     The choice lies with us. And there always is a choice. It's for us to choose now.

This independence came at the price of the blood of millions and we owe not just to them but to the generation that shall come after us, the answer to the question as to 'What we did with a legacy we were handed?'


Saturday, July 23, 2011

Me and The struggling myself

It's been a while...I have been struggling with myself...I have been bugged, bothered, angry, low, disgusted...with myself, with if not many then atleast a few people around me....I have been struggling to find comfort, peace and understanding about myself and my life....none are coming....I tried drowning myself in work....It did not work....I tried drowning myself in books, in random things, cooking, painting...even plainly doing nothing....but nothing worked.....

                          My problem basically is and I think always has been that " I Want..."

I always seem to be wanting...I have....but I want more than what I have, if I don't want more then I want answers...I am just obsessed with wanting, never content forever ranting.

I have parents, who love me and care for me...but I want more...I want 'em to understand me...I want 'em to look at life through my eyes..appreciate my perspective, which is seemingly different from their own...and still love & care for me.....the conflict arises I try and talk..but I am too impatient and a bit angry and they are too unyielding, one thing leads to another..and the struggling begins...

I have people around me who care...who are around...but I want more...I want friends who I can count on...whom I can share with....on whom I can assert..I can't find any..I feel let down...and I wish...

I wanted to be a doctor...I am one...I don't want to be just a doctor...I want to be so much more..do so much more..be an artist, a writer, a dancer, a cook, a violinist, a kindergarten teacher, a traveller....I feel I made a wrong choice stepping into the shoes of a doctor..not 'cuz I lack the expertise..but 'cuz I lack the devoted consistent commitment to be a doctor...I feel lost...I feel foolish, unsure....and I struggle..

And then again..I just wonder why do I struggle so much with my life...I know I have more than many...why can't I take it as it is, like so many others do and go on...Why can't I remain happy with what I have?...I have learnt that life always knows the best for it's children, it puts us through only that much which it knows we can carry and it puts us where..we can do best what it wants us to...knowing and understanding all this...I still struggle with life...'cuz I just don't seem to find answers for why is all that is happening, happening...could life not have found a better and perhaps an easier way...I don't seem to understand a few things, why in the first place did life had to make me so discontent ...I struggle to understand...

I came across this post http://suz-beginagain.blogspot.com/2011/07/from-may-sartons-well.html today and a few questions started to make sense....
                 
                         Life I believe works through distillation i.e. the process of first heating a mixture to separate the more volatile from the less volatile parts, and then cooling and condensing the resulting vapor so as to produce a more nearly pure or refined substance......
                                           
 In life's processing the mixture is us, you, me all of us....it works on us slowly...separating the more volatile (in our case useless, maybe even harmful bits of our characters) from the less volatile (things that are better for us, making us less prone to self combustion!!!)....gradually and gradually cooling us through it's cold, at times harsh ways till the time is right.....to bring to light the refined, pure being that lies beneath all the muck....the being that It knew lay within, the being it had faith in , a faith that never wavered.


All we need to do is believe in the faith that life has in us...hold on to life's persistent prodding hand...not to struggle against life's flow...but to flow with it, I have struggled against the flow reached where I wanted to, only to learn, that it would have been better had I flown along...to believe that even if we can't see it at the moment...the road lies just beyond the next bush obscured from our sight...to just keep walking step by step, holding on to the faith...that


                          "Life like all mothers, knows the best for each of it's children and will always take care of it's children, it will let go only when it knows that we can handle the road that lays ahead and even then, it will always be just behind us to pull us up on our feet, if we shall stumble"


I know easier said, than done....but I shall keep the thought in my heart, hold on to it when nothing shall seem like....and struggle on instead of despairing....I shall keep moving. 


                                                    I Will Believe

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Nomad


When our ancestors found that wheat
Was a good bread to eat
They settled in Jericho.
All of us are settled now,
But in our souls there is a great woe:
We don't know where to go.

I am settled in a fine place
I own a house, I live in grace,
I have a patio
But late at night when the wind lament
And  the garden shivers - my soul is rent:
I don't know where to go.

One day when I say good-bye
To life and wife, and die and fly
somewhere in a great flow
I shall be free to roam again
I'll try to find but try in vain
Where to go, where to go.

- Henry Shore

I found this beautiful poem in the biography of JRD Tata "Beyond the last Blue mountain".....and it echoes the very emotion of the nomad within my soul. 

That's the beauty in poetry...you read a poem and find the very emotions of your soul mirrored in the words of someone else and you know that you are not alone on your road, that there have been many before you and that there shall be many who shall come after you. 


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

कुछ लम्हें सुकून के

रात में ढलती सुबह 
सुबह में गुम होती रात के बीच 
सपनों की रफ़्तार से भागती 
इस ज़िन्दगी में 
dhundhti हूँ कुछ लम्हें सुकून के |

सुबह सुबह दौड़ते हुए 
गरम टोस्ट और चाय की दो चुस्कियों में,
हडबडाहट में निगले 
माँ के प्यार से भरे लंच के डब्बे में,
शाम की काफ्फी के अरोमा से  
गुम होती दिनभर की थकान मे,
dhundhti हूँ कुछ लम्हें सुकून के |

कभी,
किताबों के पन्नो में छुपी कविता कहानियों में,
कभी,
दोस्तों के साथ बिताये लम्हों में,
कभी,
गानों की धुन में बहते हुए 
कभी,
रात के सन्नाटे में बहती हवा के स्पर्श में,
कभी,
मोंसून की पहली बारिश में भीगते हुए,
कभी,
अपनी छोटी से दुनिया से परे बसी विशाल दुनिया
देखने की कल्पनाओं में, 
dhundhti हूँ कुछ लम्हें सुकून के |


छोटी सी इस ज़िन्दगी में,
सब सपनों को जी जाने की
बहुत कुछ पाने और कर जाने की 
इस मह्त्वकान्षा की दौड़ में 
क्षणभर को थमकर
दूर से
दुनिया के इस समंदर में,
बहती अनगिनत जिंदगियों की धाराओं की 
छोटी छोटी खुशियों में 
dhundhti हूँ कुछ लम्हें सुकून के |