Randomness

Some nights

 are just meant
to stand quietly in open, feeling the cold touch of wind on your naked skin while listening to the sound of wind, those are the nights

 when the wind is singing and u can hear, life silently whispering its blessings to you. 

It's one of those nights

 which heal and rejuvenate

 all that is bruised, tired and broken within. 

It's one of those nights

 when all u need to do is

 quit fighting, 

close your eyes,

 take a deep breath in

And

let life work it's magic within.

It is one of those night when u can ask for blessings and know that they will be granted. I asked for peace, for guidance, for love, to find myself in his arms, to have his hands holding mine, for a dream to work on and make it come true, for joy and the means to share and spread that joy.

Travelogue Phuket 2012 - Exploring -2

Vacations are about stepping out of a door, locking it and throwing away the key till u want to open the door and walk back in again.

The thing about them is, given that, you manage to take a break from the regular routine and forget completely all of those worries and questions from everyday mundane life, that the poor mind goes through to sort out some problem or the other that is plaguing it, you end up finding for yourself the leisure of musing.

Musing! Ah!! and you must be wondering what the heck, because the whole point of taking a vacation is to get away from all the overdrive thinking we do everyday.

That is my point, vacations give u the leisure to muse randomly when u wish to and not at all if u don't wish to. And that is precisely the reason that these random musings, when they rarely do happen, even if they don't leave u with any solutions, they at least leave u with a clearer perspective of your problems. Quite sometimes I have found in these ramblings, conclusions that have given poor mind a break(even if it last for a few moments or days) from that crazy tug of war of finding solutions and this feeling is nothing short of bliss.

This vacation gave me quite a few moments of such peaceful ramblings as I went exploring.

We checked out The weekend market, that takes place in Phuket Town every weekend, it's an extensive market offering a huge variety of goods ranging from clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, tech stuff, local handicrafts and street food. In short a shopper's heaven. It's such a pity I am no longer a shopaholic, because If I had been I would have got lost in those tiny lanes, explored them in and out and emerged hours later loaded with bags and bags of my loot. The food smelled yummy too, we tried a few kebabs and pickles which were great. I am sure we would have discovered a few more interesting things hiding within some corner there but because we were short of time we did not linger around for long.
(Tip - to get the best deals, u have to haggle and the best way to do it, is to bring the price down to half of what was quoted and then bargain)

@ The weekend market

After the weekend market, we went to explore Patong. Now that I think of it, had it not been for Jacob, I doubt if I would have ever gone there, because it definitely was not on my exploring list and I need to thank him for that experience. It was a Saturday, and the place was in it's full element, not that it would have been less vibrant, noisy, crowded or happening if it had been any other day, because I doubt if Patong ever sleeps at night.

It's an experience, at night, Patong is. Not to be missed. Unforgettable and yet forgettable. Colorful, lit, bright, noisy, alive, thronged by scores and scores of people, lined by countless pubs, diners, bars, strip clubs, go - go bars. It hits u in full force and seduces the unsuspecting traveler within you with it's charm.

I remember telling Jacob, as I stepped on it's main street, Bangla road, that this is my kind of place, I could party here endlessly, get lost and not be found. We walked down the main street, crossed over and went to the huge street food market along the beach, checked each and every stall (all the while depriving poor Jacob of a decent dinner to sample the street food, of which in the end I sampled only a little ), checked out the fine-diners across the street food markets, caught a glimpse of a beach side concert, released a sky lantern, sat on the beach, saw fireworks (also saw a man pee right on the beach !!!!!! really!!!), explored more and sometime during this, the spell that Patong had weaved over me broke and the illusion got over. I had seen through the beautiful mask of Patong, into the layers within. It wasn't hideous, but it wasn't beautiful either and it certainly wasn't charming or a place I could remain lost into. I don't think I will ever fall under the spell of Patong again. I may go back there, I may spend a night sitting and drinking in one of those roadside bars, dance at one of those discs and enjoy myself, but I won't ever be deluded by it.

Patong - lit and vibrant

The Banana Crepe - yummmm

One of the countless many bars

letting go

Fireworks

I believe it's charm lies in the bubble of illusion it creates and offers to you as an escape from reality, u walk dazed in that illusion while it lasts, but the moment the bubble breaks, u can only but recollect it as a haze. Maybe I have not experienced life enough to understand, what kind of entertainment do people find in those go-go bars, baton bars in the alleys or what companionship can they get by watching belly dancers or what solace can loneliness find by sleeping with a sex worker or how noise and crowd can substitute for music and the spirit of fun. But, having experienced it, all I can say is that Patong, at night, with all it's glory is nothing but a fantasy, but still a fantasy worth experiencing once.

But I still have some beautiful memories from that night and oddly enough, none of them are of those colorful, bright noisy streets and places I went to. I remember the delicious, mouth watering, melt in mouth crisp Banana crepes ( a thai street food special and I can't thank Jacob enough for introducing me to them, I can still taste them melting in my mouth) and the crispiness of the spring rolls I had had at one of the stalls. I remember releasing my sky lantern and watching it hover in the air, feeling scared as it wavered a bit and threatened to crash and feeling delightful when it ultimately rose and went far away into the sky. I remember saying a silent prayer in that moment, for dreams, mine, of the dear friend next to me and of all those countless people who dare to dream, that they may rise, come true and shine like this lantern and light up the lives of people they reach

But the most clear memory that I have of that night is of sitting quietly next to Jacob on the sand, removed far away from the noise and glamour of Patong (which was just a few paces away), staring far into the darkness and listening to the waves wash on the beach, the sound of the sea, lighted by the darkness of the night, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

I sat there contemplating the uncertainties of life and the realization that even with all these uncertainties, one could still find peace, and that peace cannot come by trying to escape from reality into the make believe, rather that peace can be found in the night, the wind, the sound of waves, the stars shining above, the sun rising, the flowers, the singing birds, the sound of laughter or even in silence, the moment when we close our eyes, tune off the pointless clutter and surrender ourselves into the arms of nature. Because peace comes from within us, it comes when we are at peace with our own self and till then no matter how far and how long we may wander, we shall still not find what we seek.

For a moment then I had found peace, though I have lost it again now and I shall wander on in search of it, I know now that it's not as elusive as it seems, thanks to the musings at leisure.

Travelogue Phuket 2012 - Exploring - 1

I did not have any Itinerary for the trip, just a list of things to do, places to explore, flavors to try thanks to extensive reading that I had done by going through, wikitravel, phuket.com, trip advisor and lonely planet.

On my list to explore were - Phuket Botanical and Butterfly garden, Phang Nga Bay, Weekend Market in Phuket Town, Promthep Cape, Kata and Karon Beaches.

We were staying in Chalong, the other advantage apart from getting value for money accommodation of being there was, that it lies in the center of all the places I had on my exploring list, some a little walk away, some a long walk away and some a taxi away.

The first place we explored was - The Botanical Garden at Phuket, quite an extensive place, divided into many sub gardens - fern, herbs, rain forest, flowers, cactus, bamboo etc, nicely maintained and labelled (though they could do with having a few guides to give information around) and for some unfathomable reason they were playing Christmas carols all over the park, which was amusing for a while, but got on our nerves after a while. But all in all it was a lovely visit and I would recommend it to anyone wishing to explore it. 

Orchid Garden

Bamboo Garden

Flower Garden

From the botanical garden, we hitched a lift (it's quite safe to do so in Thailand in my experience, of course it does cost u 50-300 Bhats depending on the distance) and went on an impromptu visit to Chalong Bay, a nice and happening place cluttered with lots of eateries and Bars. Spent a lovely evening dining by a beach side restaurant called Kaneang (I'd read about it in quite a few recos) - a beautiful place, lovely ambience with good food ( esp seafood, which thanks to my anaphylaxis I can't have). We also managed to book a boat tour to Phang Nga bay from a local tour operator (I suggest that it's better to book directly with the tour companies, as these operators tend to change tours at the last moment)

Kaneang @ The Pier

The next day we went to see a real time Muay Thai fight in a local stadium (1000 Bhats for the tickets, I suggest get egular tickets instead of the VIP one's) and it was fun, watching techniques we were practicing, speculating. Each match begins with a dancing ritual to impress the Gods ( and we got to learn the ritual the very next day in the session). One of the matches lasted for just 10 seconds, one punch from the Australian boxer and match over (I'm sure he earned a nasty reputation) another one had this chap who could hardly find time from setting his knickers right and ended up getting a bloody injury and loosing the match. 

The Pre fight dance ritual

he lost the match to the pants

The most interesting part of the match evening was of course the discussion about the lineage of tomato - whether it was a fruit or a vegetable that started between us and the couple from the camp who were accompanying us!! and we are still clueless from where it started, but we now know that tomato is a fruit and  that French are a scary lot.

That night we also discovered, a lovely bar we had in our neighborhood, located around a tree, an open air place with a round stone slab, on which u can leave behind a message with ink markers (of course I lost all my sleep as played with the markers) with a yummy meal (as Jacob put it, who thinks bars can serve good meals, well this one did). 

This is the beauty of travel - Impromptu moments - a peaceful evening by the sea listening to the waves, the wind, crazy and funny conversations, a lovely night by a bar with music of 90's  and so many more - moments that linger in some corner of your memories and come back to you some other time, making you smile at the times gone by.  

P.S - account of exploring shall continue in the next post.

Apology

To the 23 yr old gang rape victim, who first fought for her dignity and then her survival, who passed away today and to the countless other nameless and unheard of victims of gang rapes, rapes and crime against women - 
                                                                         Sorry

                                                  WE let you all down, each one of us. 

We all as individuals and as a society owe them an apology, because the only fault of all of these Women was that they were born as a Woman in this morally bankrupt apathetic society called India.

And the only apology that I can offer them is to begin to seek a change, not just in the government, judiciary, police, health care, but within each one of us and this society as a whole.Because WE have come to this kind of social degeneration because of our own apathy as individuals to each other and to the issues plaguing us as a society. And NO amount of social, police, judicial, medical or electoral reforms are going to bring about a change unless WE as individuals change our myopic outlook towards our responsibilities, unless WE give up this attitude of 'OUT OF NEWS, OUT OF MIND', unless WE awaken the empathy that is dying within us. 

We are waiting for some institution, somebody to take the initiative to bring the change which has to start from within each of us. That change will not come by playing the blame game that the government or the police or the judiciary are not doing their job, that CHANGE will come only when we become that change.

Let us not just stand as mute spectator when a woman or for that matter any fellow citizen is being harassed or bullied. Let us agree not to encourage corruption. Let us agree to respect and protect not just our women, but our children and our elders. Let us agree to Vote in the elections that are coming ahead, in an unbiased manner candidates who deserve to be elected and let that be our answer to the Inefficient government. Let us agree each one of us to do our duty sincerely not just as professionals, but also towards our environment, our families and our society. 

       Let us agree to be better human beings and to help nurture a better society for all of us to live in. 

I am promising myself today that I am going to seek a change in the whole process of the way these cases are investigated, conducted and the ordeal that these victims have to go. I realized that a few months back when I was helping my Sister-in-law in her thesis on the treatment of gang rape victims in India. I had decided to do something about this then, but then I let the din of everyday life and work take over, but this time I am not going to give up. This my way of not letting the loss of the life of that child go in vain.

     

Awakening

A few lines that I wrote, as I saw the protests at India Gate, showing solidarity with the New Delhi gang rape victim and countless others that happen all over India and not just gang rapes, but crime against women in general and the anger that I could feel bubbling in the heart of people against the apathy that is shown not just by the authorities, but also by society in general. And it's after a long time that I have seen the Indian mindset so ruffled and awakened, questioning itself and it's psyche. And I hope that this ruffling will not settle down, rather that it will bring about a change that has been long awaited.

Naked
alone
she lay waiting
for
the rage,
to melt into her veins
for
the rage,
to turn cold
and turn into
the wrath
that shall become
the unbecoming
of the chains that had long held her tied.

She lay waiting
to be reborn
from the embers
of the fire of the rage
that had been long contained
beneath
her
endurance
that has lasted centuries long.

She lay waiting
the carcass frail now,
after
tolerating since centuries
discrimination
suppression,
oppression
to turn
her patient unbending endurance
into an Inferno.

After centuries
of having waited
for the change,
She is now awake
milk in her breast curdled
her womb barren
her heart beating with rage
She will now not rest
till
she sees
her daughters and sisters safe
she will now not surrender
till
she sees
their dignity restored
she will not let her wrath die
till
she sees
their shackles forever torn
she will now stand guard
against
the society
that trod upon her,
strangled her voice,
forced her into becoming a shadow
THE WOMAN
now lies wide awake from her long slumber
and
she shall not sleep again
till
she seeks
the justice that has for so long has been denied to her.

Travelogue Phuket 2012 - The arrival

The thing about traveling is that before u begin it seems so intimidating, with all the planning, organizing that needs to be done and of course the fact that u are stepping out of your comfort zone, into a new place ( a new country), but once it starts it just begins, it turns into an exciting journey, an adventure u don't wish to get over.

The one trick that I have learnt to get the most out of travels is never to set up any expectations, just a rough idea what the travel will be about but no expectations, that ways I get more to enjoy and less disappointment. I used the same trick this time, the rough idea was to take a break and enjoy while doing a bit of sight seeing, exploring, trying out Thai cuisine, trying Muay Thai (it was my first time and Jacob's main focus of the trip), relax and make the most of the opportunity that I have.

The flight was uneventful, of course I had to make a dash to catch my connecting flight across Bangkok airport but that was fun and I reached Phuket, the moment I walked out I realized what was it that I'd forgotten while packing - Umbrella and of course it was raining when I reached.

Found the cab Jacob had pre-arranged for me, the cab driver was the owner of the service and he had been thoughtful and kind enough to bring his wife along, just so that I won't feel uncomfortable traveling with him alone at night from the airport to Chalong where we were staying ( a thing that made me fall in love with Thai people, they are so thoughtful and always ready to help, to the extent of going way out of their way to do so that too for complete strangers without hesitating once, it just leaves one feeling so warm inside). By the way if u wish to know Phuket better and it's always a good idea to do so before travel, going through wikitravel is a very good option, followed by whatever other sites u find.

Phew so I was in Phuket, the first night we stayed at The Signature, in Chalong, located near Tiger Muay Thai (the camp where we were training) it's like this long street of one resort after another with restaurants and bars here and there. Checked out the whole street, had dinner and dropped off to sleep 'cuz I had to wake up early to start training at 6!!!!! (Wham!! yep I'm one of those crazy people who crib about having to wake up early for work everyday and say that there was no way that they would get out of bed early if they had it their way, and then bloody end up waking up early everyday on a holiday)

Of course, I did manage to wake up in time next day (and everyday after that because I had relentless and unyielding alarm clock called Jacob with me, Sigh). Went for the training (I was panting, sweating and aching more than I was training, but considering that it was my first day, I survived 3 and a half hrs of yoga with kick boxing and warm ups pretty well!!).

When we started we used to have this one hour yoga session before our workout (we skipped it later 'cuz it was too much and left us low on energy for our training) but on the first day the Yoga instructor mentioned somewhere during the training 'hold what would u want to hold on to and let go what u want to let go' this got me pondering, I hardly ever know what to hold on to and what to let go, but both are equally important things in life to be aware of, otherwise we just add onto the mental, emotional and physical burden and end up wasting a good chunk of our energy and time which could have been used better to things which are pointless. And so I have been contemplating and working on who and what to hold on to and to let go.

The other thing that I realized while I was training was, that I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. I stopped when I thought my body had had enough, I wasn't trying to push against it's limits and I realized that, not just in for this training, I had been doing this to everything else in life. I don't know whether it's a good thing to do or not, but it did irk me and left me pondering.

Have I become too complacent? I am letting myself getting trapped within the limits of my comfort zone? I think yes, Is it good? Honestly, I haven't figured out yet, but I did resolve to push against my limits over the next few days and I did, slowly and realized that I could challenge my limits and I could push against them and that it was something I enjoyed. And I think I am going to apply this in other aspects of my everyday life.

Christmas Wishlist

• To not be lonely anymore. To find someone who would love me and whom I would love and to share our lives together for a lifetime. I am shameless enough to wish that may I have him in my stockings.
• To find and do something that I would love doing. To stop being directionless and aimless.
• Surprises - many, many and many of them.
• A White Christmas.
• Christmas party with friends.
• To travel to Hampi, Spain, Turkey, Paris, Australia, Dublin, Greece, Koh Samui for full moon party.
• To learn baking and bake cakes, cakes and more cakes.