Apology

To the 23 yr old gang rape victim, who first fought for her dignity and then her survival, who passed away today and to the countless other nameless and unheard of victims of gang rapes, rapes and crime against women - 
                                                                         Sorry

                                                  WE let you all down, each one of us. 

We all as individuals and as a society owe them an apology, because the only fault of all of these Women was that they were born as a Woman in this morally bankrupt apathetic society called India.

And the only apology that I can offer them is to begin to seek a change, not just in the government, judiciary, police, health care, but within each one of us and this society as a whole.Because WE have come to this kind of social degeneration because of our own apathy as individuals to each other and to the issues plaguing us as a society. And NO amount of social, police, judicial, medical or electoral reforms are going to bring about a change unless WE as individuals change our myopic outlook towards our responsibilities, unless WE give up this attitude of 'OUT OF NEWS, OUT OF MIND', unless WE awaken the empathy that is dying within us. 

We are waiting for some institution, somebody to take the initiative to bring the change which has to start from within each of us. That change will not come by playing the blame game that the government or the police or the judiciary are not doing their job, that CHANGE will come only when we become that change.

Let us not just stand as mute spectator when a woman or for that matter any fellow citizen is being harassed or bullied. Let us agree not to encourage corruption. Let us agree to respect and protect not just our women, but our children and our elders. Let us agree to Vote in the elections that are coming ahead, in an unbiased manner candidates who deserve to be elected and let that be our answer to the Inefficient government. Let us agree each one of us to do our duty sincerely not just as professionals, but also towards our environment, our families and our society. 

       Let us agree to be better human beings and to help nurture a better society for all of us to live in. 

I am promising myself today that I am going to seek a change in the whole process of the way these cases are investigated, conducted and the ordeal that these victims have to go. I realized that a few months back when I was helping my Sister-in-law in her thesis on the treatment of gang rape victims in India. I had decided to do something about this then, but then I let the din of everyday life and work take over, but this time I am not going to give up. This my way of not letting the loss of the life of that child go in vain.

     

Awakening

A few lines that I wrote, as I saw the protests at India Gate, showing solidarity with the New Delhi gang rape victim and countless others that happen all over India and not just gang rapes, but crime against women in general and the anger that I could feel bubbling in the heart of people against the apathy that is shown not just by the authorities, but also by society in general. And it's after a long time that I have seen the Indian mindset so ruffled and awakened, questioning itself and it's psyche. And I hope that this ruffling will not settle down, rather that it will bring about a change that has been long awaited.

Naked
alone
she lay waiting
for
the rage,
to melt into her veins
for
the rage,
to turn cold
and turn into
the wrath
that shall become
the unbecoming
of the chains that had long held her tied.

She lay waiting
to be reborn
from the embers
of the fire of the rage
that had been long contained
beneath
her
endurance
that has lasted centuries long.

She lay waiting
the carcass frail now,
after
tolerating since centuries
discrimination
suppression,
oppression
to turn
her patient unbending endurance
into an Inferno.

After centuries
of having waited
for the change,
She is now awake
milk in her breast curdled
her womb barren
her heart beating with rage
She will now not rest
till
she sees
her daughters and sisters safe
she will now not surrender
till
she sees
their dignity restored
she will not let her wrath die
till
she sees
their shackles forever torn
she will now stand guard
against
the society
that trod upon her,
strangled her voice,
forced her into becoming a shadow
THE WOMAN
now lies wide awake from her long slumber
and
she shall not sleep again
till
she seeks
the justice that has for so long has been denied to her.

Travelogue Phuket 2012 - The arrival

The thing about traveling is that before u begin it seems so intimidating, with all the planning, organizing that needs to be done and of course the fact that u are stepping out of your comfort zone, into a new place ( a new country), but once it starts it just begins, it turns into an exciting journey, an adventure u don't wish to get over.

The one trick that I have learnt to get the most out of travels is never to set up any expectations, just a rough idea what the travel will be about but no expectations, that ways I get more to enjoy and less disappointment. I used the same trick this time, the rough idea was to take a break and enjoy while doing a bit of sight seeing, exploring, trying out Thai cuisine, trying Muay Thai (it was my first time and Jacob's main focus of the trip), relax and make the most of the opportunity that I have.

The flight was uneventful, of course I had to make a dash to catch my connecting flight across Bangkok airport but that was fun and I reached Phuket, the moment I walked out I realized what was it that I'd forgotten while packing - Umbrella and of course it was raining when I reached.

Found the cab Jacob had pre-arranged for me, the cab driver was the owner of the service and he had been thoughtful and kind enough to bring his wife along, just so that I won't feel uncomfortable traveling with him alone at night from the airport to Chalong where we were staying ( a thing that made me fall in love with Thai people, they are so thoughtful and always ready to help, to the extent of going way out of their way to do so that too for complete strangers without hesitating once, it just leaves one feeling so warm inside). By the way if u wish to know Phuket better and it's always a good idea to do so before travel, going through wikitravel is a very good option, followed by whatever other sites u find.

Phew so I was in Phuket, the first night we stayed at The Signature, in Chalong, located near Tiger Muay Thai (the camp where we were training) it's like this long street of one resort after another with restaurants and bars here and there. Checked out the whole street, had dinner and dropped off to sleep 'cuz I had to wake up early to start training at 6!!!!! (Wham!! yep I'm one of those crazy people who crib about having to wake up early for work everyday and say that there was no way that they would get out of bed early if they had it their way, and then bloody end up waking up early everyday on a holiday)

Of course, I did manage to wake up in time next day (and everyday after that because I had relentless and unyielding alarm clock called Jacob with me, Sigh). Went for the training (I was panting, sweating and aching more than I was training, but considering that it was my first day, I survived 3 and a half hrs of yoga with kick boxing and warm ups pretty well!!).

When we started we used to have this one hour yoga session before our workout (we skipped it later 'cuz it was too much and left us low on energy for our training) but on the first day the Yoga instructor mentioned somewhere during the training 'hold what would u want to hold on to and let go what u want to let go' this got me pondering, I hardly ever know what to hold on to and what to let go, but both are equally important things in life to be aware of, otherwise we just add onto the mental, emotional and physical burden and end up wasting a good chunk of our energy and time which could have been used better to things which are pointless. And so I have been contemplating and working on who and what to hold on to and to let go.

The other thing that I realized while I was training was, that I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. I stopped when I thought my body had had enough, I wasn't trying to push against it's limits and I realized that, not just in for this training, I had been doing this to everything else in life. I don't know whether it's a good thing to do or not, but it did irk me and left me pondering.

Have I become too complacent? I am letting myself getting trapped within the limits of my comfort zone? I think yes, Is it good? Honestly, I haven't figured out yet, but I did resolve to push against my limits over the next few days and I did, slowly and realized that I could challenge my limits and I could push against them and that it was something I enjoyed. And I think I am going to apply this in other aspects of my everyday life.

Christmas Wishlist

• To not be lonely anymore. To find someone who would love me and whom I would love and to share our lives together for a lifetime. I am shameless enough to wish that may I have him in my stockings.
• To find and do something that I would love doing. To stop being directionless and aimless.
• Surprises - many, many and many of them.
• A White Christmas.
• Christmas party with friends.
• To travel to Hampi, Spain, Turkey, Paris, Australia, Dublin, Greece, Koh Samui for full moon party.
• To learn baking and bake cakes, cakes and more cakes.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas!!

Christmas is about hope, love, joy of giving and sharing, of being together and the merry feeling it fills me with. It's a feeling that comes from deep within my heart and soul.

So, I can't help loving it, no matter if it's not the White Christmas that I have been wishing for, no matter if it's  without friends, Christmas cake, Christmas tree, Christmas eve party, Christmas dinner, no matter if my stockings shall remain empty, no matter if I can't get family to join me in my enthusiasm for Christmas.

It's still Christmas, my Christmas, and I'll be celebrating it's spirit, so I'll still make my Christmas wishlist, I'll still hang my stockings, I'll still sing jingle bells, I'll be thankful for the family and friends I have, for a lovely vacation that I have just had, for being well fed, clothed, for the luxuries I take for granted, for being healthy and alive and I'll makes wishes for the happiness and health of all those who I know and with all that I'll wait for another Christmas to come next year, with the hope that, it shall be my Christmas.

                    'Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.' - Calvin Coolidge

Travelogue Phuket 2012 - The Beginning

free
momentarily
from the chains that hold me
joyous
I
open my arms
to embrace
the wind and skies
I
wish to find
my wings
and beyond the clouds
I
want to fly
to
find somewhere my own sky
to
paint it with the hue of my joy
let me be
a bird
free to fly.

Why do I want to travel? the inevitable question that I get asked before and after my every trip by family, by friends, by colleagues, so much so that I have started asking this question from myself before and after every trip.

Why do I travel?

And every time when I ponder over this question at the start of my trip,
Surprisingly, I never have a sure answer, and every time it's a different one. But the most two compelling reasons that make me perennially itchy and restless for traveling are - One, to seek a change from my regular everyday life, to take a break from the boredom of daily routine of work and life and the stress it brings along, helping my body and mind refresh and rejuvenate. Second is my love for food and travel provides me countless opportunities to experience a new cuisine, discover countless new dishes, so traveling can always get me excited with the idea of all the unexplored flavors that I shall get to experience.

But when I ponder over the same question at the end of my trip,
I do have a few more reasons for wanting to travel and to keep doing so once and again, it's because of all the wide range of experiences that accompany traveling. These experiences (some good, some not so good) range from meeting new people, listening to their stories, making new friends, coming across varied cultural experiences, exploring new places, dealing with new and at times unforeseen situations and challenges, the process of discovering something new. And more importantly the change that this whole experience brings about in me as a person, in my outlook towards the world and towards myself.

In the end traveling is important to me because this process of exploring places and people, helps me explore myself as a person, discover aspects of me that I was unaware of, it makes me more dynamic by helping me look beyond my comfort zone and explore the limits that I have set for myself and going beyond them, and in this whole process bringing within me changes, for the better or for the worse I can not say. But changes for sure.

This is how this trip also began,
me wanting to go somewhere traveling to take a break from my routine, when my friend Jacob was kind enough to ask me if I would like to join him in Phuket, for a Muay Thai fitness camp that he would be attending. And I agreed glad for company of a friend, eager to explore a new place and a new sport and thus began all the planning, research and preparations.

And finally after quite a few hiccoughs, many brain storming sessions about tickets, stay and other logistics (the credit for most of which goes to Jacob, I really do marvel at his ability to get so much more and valuable information from net than I do) I was all set to begin with my December break and now that I can look back at it, it was a wonderful one.

A few tips, if u are an Indian Citizen traveling to Phuket, Thailand -

• Plan your trip in advance if u can, it gets you cheaper deals on air tickets as well as hotel reservations.
• Even though VISA on arrival is not a big deal, just an extra hour of delay at the airport (and u shall have to show currency worth 35000 Bhat in hand), U can get it done from the Thai Embassy and it's a very simple process. (which takes about 3-4 days with proper planning and information, which is available online)
• I found it a better deal to get my money converted to US Dollars here and then converting Dollars to Thai Bhat in Thailand. (There are ample money exchange counter at and near both Bangkok and Phuket airport)
• Thailand is one of the countries which u can fit in any budget, all u need to do is research well, and be it hotels, to planning activities, to cab services all information is easily available and even on arrival, the locals ( at least in Phuket) are very helpful.

P.S - for more details about the travel please follow the next few posts

Phuket Dec 2012

I have been away for a while now, because I was on a vacation.

Phang Nga Bay, Phuket

Destination - Phuket
Duration - 10 days
Activities - I'll need a while a to put everything down in words, a travelogue is in process, though I doubt if i'll
                 to see it to the finish line and of course loads of pictures, which need to be sorted out.

What now? - Now that the vacation is over, I am feeling blue. This is the crazy thing about vacations, before     they begin, U can't wait for them to start and once they do, u just don't want them to get over.

I think the only way to get over a vacation is by planning another one.

So this is what is on the cards - work, party, write the travelogue, plan a new trip and of course work on some of the personal projects that are pending.

Happy December

December

I stopped midway in the mad rush

as the realization struck that

It's December again.

I

took a deep breath,

welcoming the Winters,

letting the chill seep in

letting the calm set in.

For 

the first time in so many weeks

I stopped feeling like a string

tense, taut, ready to snap.

I 

love December,

it reminds me that a year has gone by

that time has been lost

But

it also fills me with hope

that there's another year waiting just around the corner.

Waiting

with so many days, so many months

to be filled with

all that is yet to be done.

It's the time

of the year to take a break.

To 

Hibernate,

Rejuvenate

to 

Begin again.

It's 

the time to let go what is gone,

to dream and hope for what is to come,

with Christmas and snow

just around the corner

it's the time

to spread joy

and to let cheer take over

and let the soul heal.

Happy December

(P.S. - I wish there was a movie titled 'happy December' showing the essence of December, and like every year I wish I would get to see and enjoy a white December and a merry Christmas)