Musing

Been a while,

 since I have done some writing, 

apart from maybe a few lines,

 bits and pieces here and there, not much.

I was wondering why?

 because writing gives me joy, 

joy because it is an instrument through which I communicate

  not just with people around me, 

but also with myself. 

most of the times

I express thoughts better while writing than speaking

In fact

as I begin writing about them

my thoughts start getting clearer

problems start making sense

I understand myself better

And

solutions start coming to me

And I end up in a better shape

then when I began.

Then why haven't I written in such a long time

actually

why haven't I been able to write?

The answer,

I guess is that I write,

when my conscious and unconscious mind communicate with each other

The conscious mind,

 struggling with it endless queries and confusions

While

The unconscious mind

tries to help it look at things

with a clearer perspective

in the process

clearing the clutter,

making sense out of the chaos.

I have not been able to write

because

I have not been at peace

I have been galloping, worrying, chasing

while 

the unconscious mind 

has been trying

to tell me 

to 

slow down

calm down

quit chasing

to accept what I have heard

but 

I am refusing to acknowledge.

That

what has to happen shall happen

that for everything

under the sun, there is a season and reason

and 

that 

I need to only do what I can

do what I want to

do what I feel is right

and 

forget about the rest.

no amount of 

chasing

wanting

worrying

is going to make a difference.

I am not writing

because

I am refusing to listen to the dialogue

happening within.

(P.S - at the end of this post of course I will start the process of trying to listen)