Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Choice

Over the years she had filled up every inch of her loneliness with work. All the while it seemed she was missing a lot, but she was so full with what she had, that all that which she was missing neither mattered nor did she care about it. She was happy with what she had. She had made a choice and locked up a few things and forgot about the key.

One day she found the key again. Opened the door and beyond it she found all that she was missing. She found all that she had chosen to forget. It was all so beautiful while she stood at the threshold and watched. Lured, She walked in. And it all turned into chaos and she was lost..

Gradually, she found her way back to the door again. Quickly turned the key and walked away. But this time she could not leave the key forgotten. She could not remember why she had chosen to lock away something as beautiful as what she saw beyond the door from her life. And One day, she opened the door again but this time, instead of venturing inside, she just stood watching from the door. It was all stunningly beautiful to watch, yet she could recall how the moment she had entered in last time it had all turned from beautiful into a dreadful mess, a tiring, trying and confusing chaos. A chaos where she had no clue of where she belonged, who she was and what did she want. She just stood there looking on for a long time before closing the door and walking away again.

This time she was consciously aware of the reason that had led her to her choice. She knew that there lay a world just as beautiful and just as complete as the world she had once dreamed of. But she could not be a part of it. She was one of those people who enjoy things behind the door by looking at them silently from afar. Just as there were others who enjoyed what she was creating from afar. She knew she was not complete and she knew her life even when filled with work was still empty. But She had found her peace in the choice she had made, even though she was missing a lot while living it because while she was living her choice she was at peace with what she did have and did not. 

And now she always kept the key with her. And she opened the door, whenever she grew weary of her choice and the emptiness it came with. She stood looking from afar filling herself and then locked the door to return back to her world. Holding on to the key like a child holds on to the world of his fantasies. It exists in the mind and the reality of the child but so does the world and the child lives in both. The world he walks in and the world he enjoys looking at . And however hard it may seem to him, He cannot live in the fantasy happily forever just as She could not live torn between her choice and her dream.


Suz said...

this was a bit sad Meeta
I send you good thoughts
that her choice will make her happy

meeta said...

@Suz for her sake, I hope too, that the choice turns out to be right one..may the peace be with her.

Surubhi said...

I think life is beautiful so it should be lived to the what if it hurts once in a while. As they say no pain no gain :)

meeta said...

2surubhi Each to their own way of living